The subtle energies of my choices start to present shapes before me, I can sense the outlines…like growth tendrils projecting forward, connecting. The pull to take a certain action at times is immense. I trust it, and follow it, and install the next element of my world and it enhances and calms me, it has such a soothing effect and I begin to feel upright. Layer by layer a new inner strength is growing shaping me from the inside out, the emptiness I once felt is now replaced by this solid trunk of energy rushing through me building me upwards…reaching and pulling me guiding me up and out. I am filling up my space. No longer do I react to this knowing with fear and build a wall around myself to protect…I am absorbing it like a plant takes in the sunlight to grow and I am beginning to thrive from it. I am living in the kingdom of humanity, I have burst out of my shell and I am reaching outwards without expectation or outcome.
These sensations are curious to me, there are many different shapes that form and begin to fill my space as I focus my attention on them…tune into the information and feed it back through my presence. They assist me through my knowing, but I am aware of them streaming through me communicating, guiding me to remove obstacles, forgive, let go and many more valuable pointers that enhance my journey through the days and nights. In the past I know I’ve been aware of such sensations but I never had the presence to observe them and try to understand their meaning and function before, I was in such a loop state everything got filtered through my fear based mindset and was lost in translation.
At my darkest hour I was being fed with the most horrific and hellish sensations, they too pulled me tremendously towards shapes and forms but I held onto my point of observation at this time and it was the first glimmer of hope I had ever felt from this cycle of pain and suffering. The images and sensations that I felt were not coming from me but transmitting through me. I had lost my identity completely but I still existed. I was a vessel and something was tuning into me and pulling me in. It was a very disturbing experience that opened up so may questions and having experienced the dark side of humanity and streaming consciousness I have been more open to the lighter streams that pass through and act as agents for progressive change. I am aware now of a spectrum of of some sort, and on that spectrum all of us can be oscillating at different speeds…there is no ladder or vantage point to be achieved that means you are succeeding, no measurement just a barometer of balancing ourselves simultaneously in the present moment. Time truly is an illusion.
My curiosity deepens daily about how these sensations and shapes have been interpreted by humanity in the past…my imagination wanders across history, connecting with the lore and myth of ancient civilisations and what they perceived as nature gods and goddesses and the stories the people of those times created to understand something they were experiencing and how this may be connected to what I’m experiencing today…what were the mindsets of people like back then? How many parts of the human experience have been buried under the rubble of our collective consciousness as it stands in this present moment. What jewels sit beneath the surface of our inner space waiting to be unearthed?