The cycle continues as I move inwards, the terrain has changed and I am deep within. It’s uncomfortable. Flow is limited here. Stagnation if rife and thoughts are trapped like lost souls in the depths of hell, moaning to be freed. This is my mother wound. I am right in the epicentre, I observe so much pain and suffering. So much joy corroded and so much loss. I weep. I feel it inside my body like vines holding me prisoner to its will. It possesses me. My voice, my heart all mute to its ferocious force. This is my legacy, what I have been handed down to heal. I breath deeply. The clearing I have done during my assent has paved the way for me to enter into this place…the veil has been lifted and I can see all the horror that resides inside the feminine. Generations of corrupting the nature of woman, the abuse the burning, the neglect all of it lies inside my soul. The rights of passage never taken, the ritual we once lived by sold to the highest bidder…and all for what? How does this serve us?
A sense from afar attracts my attention, its water…rushing water…I allow it in as I can not bear witness to this place I have entered for an other moment. It washes through me as if cleansing me…its coming from above and rushing out through my feet. I breath deeply. I observe my body, there is a hardness, like a line running down my right hand side that is rigid and inflexible…I let the water sensation flow down through this line and continue to observe it. I can see beliefs that I have held about my place in this world…society mirroring back to me my role, the role that it has made for me, one I have struggled to fit into my whole life, one that has brought me so much pain and not one of my choosing. I hand back the script willingly and return to source again. I become stern in my conviction, I must take back what is rightfully mine. Generations of women have been stolen from, we are mer shadows of our former selves as we stand on this earth today.
We rotate in toxic circles of saviour, victim, perpetrator and are locked in a state of perpetual immaturity and unwillingness to ascend to our full potential as women. This dysfunctional pattern has replaced our higher state of being that we once held in our communities. Our true nature has been traumatized by repression and abuse…our vibration has been lowered so much that this is the manifestation of our legacy today…my commitment to reanimation of my true nature continues…I know I have many obstacles yet to face but I grow stronger as I journey on this path. Gifts I have received continue to grow around me…I feel the presence of my true nature developing in me bonding with me…I have to trust the process and as each dark shadow passes over me I observe it, give it presence and move along the path back to living in alignment with source values.
This journey is becoming as real as night and day to me now. I am embodying it, even if that means taking in the shadows as well as the light, for there can not be one without the other. I commit to remain clear…holding my space as I journey within. My ascent is almost reaching a plateau now…my cup is becoming full and a new phase is just on the horizon…I let the transition flow…my maiden voyage has come to and end for this month and it is time to transform myself with the full moon and invite the mother in.